What if I’m wrong?

We don’t feel pressure because we can’t make decisions.

I think we feel it because we don’t trust ourselves to change them.

It comes up in coaching sessions all the time.

The feeling that a ‘wrong’ choice means we failed.

But I don’t think decisions are right or wrong. They’re neutral.

They’re made in a moment. With the information, energy, fear, hope, mindset, context and environment available to us at the time.

We give them meaning later.

When we’re stuck in indecision, well-meaning friends, colleagues, family often say things like, ‘you just need to trust yourself’ or ‘be true to you.’

And that feels kind and supportive.

But I wonder if this is really a self-trust issue.

Most people don’t doubt their ability to choose.

They doubt what would happen if the choice stopped fitting.

How they’d be judged for changing their mind.

For taking a different path or making a U-turn.

When decisions are framed as right or wrong, changing course can feel like failure.

When they’re neutral, changing course is just information.

‘…this made sense then. It doesn’t now.

So I’ll choose again.’

That’s not being flaky or uncommitted.

It’s being responsive .

Almost every decision I’ve ever made felt right at the time. Even:

- Moving continents mid-pandemic

- Changing to a role I disliked to be promotable

- Getting a spiral perm in the 90s

Not every decision worked out. Not every one took me where I hoped.

And honestly, after the fact, some of them made me seriously question myself.

But self-trust isn’t confidence in predicting the future.

It’s confidence in your ability to notice, adapt, and know when to stick or twist as new realities emerge around you.

Otherwise you risk holding yourself hostage to a decision made under completely different conditions.

Self belief says, ‘I’m capable of making good decisions.’

Self trust says, ‘even if this no longer fits, I’ll notice it, and I’ll be able to choose again.’

So perhaps if you’re hesitating on something right now, it might not be because you don’t trust yourself to decide.

It might be because you’re not yet sure you trust yourself to revise it.

❓What would a decision look like if you trusted your future self to course-correct if needed?

Because, ultimately, there are very few decisions in life that are truly irreversible.

Trust me, even a spiral perm or dodgy fringe can be resolved.