I need space

I need space.

This is the revelation that consistently swirls around in my coaching sessions with senior leaders.

They don’t need answers.

They need space.

Leaders often realise its the first time they’ve had room just to think to themselves in ages. It’s not always the reason they came to the session, but it’s often what they leave with.

And it lightens the load.

I feel this myself with the coaches who have held space for me over the years.

They allowed me space to think before responding, to question my assumptions, to notice my judgements. A brave space to say aloud what was really consuming me. And honestly just space for myself amidst the melee of neverending meeting decks, WhatsApp groups and to do lists that remind me I’m never getting to the things that really matter.

From there I could actually move onward.

The more senior you become, the less space you tend to have. Promotions often come with a few bonus gifts.

More meetings. You know, the ones that end on the hour and the next one starts immediately. No time for a tea to brew, let alone an idea.

More decisions, the ones you hold and the ones you delegate. More direct reports. More noise. More voices in your head.

And your own time is often first to go.

Most of my coaching clients have something in common. At some point in all of this ‘more’ they’ve moved to less thinking…more reacting.

Momentum feels like progress. People are telling you what a great job you’re doing.

Your calendar is full so it must mean you’re effective. There’s validation in the pace of it all.

Maybe you’re doing an hour or two on a Saturday morning just to stay ahead. Or have your phone in hand reading emails whilst watching TV with your other half. The illusion that we can multitask feels more like whimsical circus plate spinning with a painted on smile than a strategic leadership dance.

It’s often at this point the tension shows up. Everything looks successful on the outside.

So why does it feel less certain on the inside?

The reason is unique to everyone. But the repeating pattern I see is that as leaders we show up better, for ourselves and for others, when we’ve created intentional space to reflect. When we can anchor to ourselves amidst the swirling demands.

Space to think clearly, choose deliberately, and trust what you already know.

I have to build it in deliberately. Aside from in my own coaching sessions, I find my thinking space

walking, writing, reading or baking.

Though not usually all at the same time.

Multitasking is a myth. We just feel busy enough not to notice.

Where do you find your thinking space?

Do you have it?